What If You Have Nothing to Say?

Go back to the Xanga years. Remember those? Yeah, that was my first attempt at blogging. My first account was named aURiCle_HolOcAUsT. Awful. I was sporadic in my posting, and usually felt like I needed to say a lot; or at least be really deep and thought provoking. When in Detroit, I attempted a rebirth of cool and started a new Xanga account; which was my first A Boy Brushed Red… blog—to no avail. I have revisited those accounts back in 2010, which are still active, and updated the profile pics; but it just feels like a wasteland there.

I flirted with Blogger, but didn’t care for it (which meant no blogging). Then, I relaunched a blogger site when I began reviewing books, and it became solely a book review page; which is also titled A Boy Brushed Red… This is for my Booksneeze reviews.

Finally, the world of the WordPress was opened to me. This was started a bit before the relaunch of the Blogger site. I love WordPress. But, even with my love for the site, it was more of an occasional affair due to my lack of blogging. This site launched in June of 2010, and I posted 20 times the rest of the year. Then, in 2011, I more than doubled that for the year! (Impressive, right? … not.) But, in mid-November of last year I had a revelation, and my desire to blog has drastically changed. Apart from my January Social Media Fast, I have been blogging about 4-5 times a week. This has been challenging at times, because I don’t want to say something just for the sake of saying something, yet I really want to be writing every day.

But, what if you have nothing to say? This question used to run through my mind a lot. And then later along the line it hit me: I should always be able to say something. No, not for the sake of just saying something, but because I should be putting into my life the Word of God, spending time in prayer, and imparting truth into others’ lives. If I am actively doing this daily, then there should be ideas, thoughts, questions, Scriptures, and observations that can be shared with you. No, I won’t share everything I am thinking or experiencing. That would just be weird.

So, why the long intro reminiscing on the ancient and failed blogging attempts? Because they demonstrate what my life was like, and my lack of discipline and desire to share what God is doing in my life. It is somewhat reflective of the kind of relationship I had with Him. I was treating Him more like an unstable, uncertain dating relationship rather than the devoted, faithful marriage that it should represent. There was a lot of growing that needed to take place in my life… maturity was a must, and it took some time to get there. Thankfully, God is faithful and He has grace that extends far beyond what I can comprehend. He allowed me the opportunity to be mentored by some great men, and used these times to break me and reshape me; and that has instilled in me a devotion to the Lord on a level that I didn’t have before. For that alone, I am forever grateful. Not that I can now blog about it, but because my life, family, and ministry are forever changed.




Ugh… You’re, Like, So Immature!

My pastor from Detroit, Chilly Chilton, posted a quote on his blog today. It really hit me… We have been experiencing some, shall I say, “crazy” times here recently. There has been a lot happening all around us, and it has really been challenging our faith in who God has called us to be and what He has called us to do. Don’t fret my pet, we are not backing down or bowing out! This time has only solidified who God has called us to be!

In the midst of the craziness, there has been this ugly thing that has reared it’s head around us – the “respect-your-elder-and-stay-quiet-you’re-just-a-young-stupid-youth-pastor-and-we-won’t-listen-to-a-word-you-say” monster! Let’s call him Bob. (I don’t think there’s anyone named Bob in my church; but if there is, I’m NOT referring to you!) 🙂

Bob has tried to discourage us, to beat us down, and to push us out. Even if Bob is only in my head (kind of like the Zombie that plagues The Cranberries), the battle has been real! I have wanted so many times to just yell, or shout at someone, or walk out and not come back… but that would be stupid – it would only show that my security is not in Christ (and that I’m foolish and immature)!

I have been totally depending on God and on His Word for strength and wisdom. I have taken solace in the fact that the Apostle Paul had to write to Timothy and encourage him to “fan into flame” that gift that God had given to him; and also in 1 Timothy 4:9, this word:

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

I’m very aware of other the many other instructions that Paul gives Timothy (like “Do not rebuke an older man harshly,” which can be easily “forgotten” by a young buck trying to flex his ministry muscles). I’m not here to pick a fight, or to start a Youth-Revolution (that doesn’t involve being passionate about Christ), or to stir up trouble; but we are responsible to speak the truth in love. And we will all show where our level of maturity really is when we are confronted with that truth – will we allow it to change us, or will we blow up and blow out?

Fighting the GOOD Fight of Faith!


Oh, and here’s that quote that I mentioned at the beginning (Thanks Pastor Chilly)!

“I have since learned that the most mature believer is the one who is bent over, leaning most heavily on the Lord, and admitting his total inability to do anything without Christ. The greatest Christian is not the one who has achieved the most but rather the one who has received the most. ”
— Jim Cymbala

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